Her soft hands, carved me in proper shape,
handling-caring, then parked in board cage,
Her soft hands, uncovered me in elation,
clapping-blowing, ripped me into pieces,
A piece was then, smashed to a pretty face,
wondering, were all hands of same or others,
gripping-dripping, fell into a garbage bin,
and, I got Flavour of Everything......
A Disclaimer : "The characters in this story are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental."
Ms.X, a common girl from small town tapahanica. while she was blowing the 26th candle, all her friends were getting married leaving her loner and miserable(r).
All these wedding parties lead to a surge in her understanding of the importance of gold in Indian weddings. Influenced she writes an artical "Same Gold Story", as dissertation for part time mba, which miraculously gains editorial respect from both city dailies.
Ms.X becomes famous and gets a job with leading MNC bank branch in tapahanica. She invests 50% of monthly savings towards gold. Then she gets a proposal, which she accepts readily on premise that it promises to end her phase of misery, anxiety and uncetanity. But then arises a typical indian problem, surname's and festival celebrating ways were different from what the parents expected. Due to this the wedding plan goes into trouble water. Eventually after an year long phase of misery, anxiety and uncertanity she quitely gets married.
Ms.X, next month gets a letter, that she is getting redeployed due to bad global economic condition & her below average level performance (she realises that office was totally ignored, since she was settling personal issues). This again draws her in a fresh phase of misery, anxitey and uncertanity which ends with her ending up in a job, city and world that she didn't understand.
Ms.X spends next one year lone and miserable, celebrating festivities as impostor, finally quits her job describing this situation as inhuman, with more work and same money, since it has left her with an exasperating snoring habit.
Ms.X gets a job back in tapahanica, on the credibility of her post grad dissertation, in bank for bullion trading and she does the obvious, buy gold in frenzy. With a nice salary, gold prices going up inspite of economic meltdown, things were even.
Ms.X gets divorce, as the snoring habit was giving her husband chronic hemorrhoids. Meanwhile she slept over the century's largest gold crash and lost her job as she didnt switch from gold, leaving her with a situation she can't comprehend.
When asked by a close source, why you remained on gold while its world was crashing, she said "So was mine, i got this job due to my gold report, so what credibility would have left if i had to tell them that i want to switch to another bullion" .... "another bullion" and she laughed for the first time in last two years।
Now Ms.X is 28 and : -
Since childhood i had this strong love for grass, it makes me happy as it's bed gives a tenderly, settling and calm felling, even i can tell by looking at grass, the country it belongs to.
That day when i woke after a not so short journey, from car rear i was witness to one of exotic lawns in district of rohtak, "i have almost grown up here howcome i never saw this part of city", next to it were bold english letters MEDICAL COLLEGE, but not so bold people who were wailing on stretchers as they waited to be attended, i am sure for them that grass made no sense, for me it was a sight but just as it wasn't soothe, no mistake of grass-it was timing, as one of my kin's was in same institution, we walked across a typical hospital lobby, there were people with sweat of tention, pushing wheel-chairs, rushing with a piece of paper to collect medicins, peculiarity that every sign was written in blue color (ward no, bed no, doc's nameplate) as it is sky here is covered with cloud of blues, authorities should use green, on the way back i was disturbed by the present incident, visuals and hospital smell that makes one tense, suddenly i saw an ironical sign on glass that can be read as WARD or DRAW depending on where you are standing, exactly where was I standing, where was I ........................... I was in mumbai delhi GoAir flight 172, with mixed feeling, when i say mixed i mean postive as usually or rather unusually i don't much enjoy going home, but this time it was different i had a sense of relief may be i was temporarly drifting away from my sorrow, that everytime leaves me in despair-now approaching my life at a place where i liked the most. When door opened at I/323, house was in complete mess due to diwali work-depriving me of comfort it provides when i didnt used to like it.
I similed as i understood the existance of that sign, moment you draw towards the ward-ward draws itself, it left me wondering "To overcome your own sorrow, what is required happiness or a larger sorrow"................
She has gone beyond,
the length of my arm; i tried
holding on, to me, so never cried
buried, took it in my stride,
there were things,
as seen by me, in her eyes,
it was just, i didn't recognise,
her words are mere noise and sound,
earlier they made sense, now profound,
night is about to over,
hope, tomorrow will be bright,
another knock on the door,
am waiting for the sight, is it her,
i have stopped dreaming
as lost, about her, every meaning...
Domestic wasn't my destiny,
but no one was bane,
still evaporation after being in it,
did had a brief pain,
Up there it was dark,
with an electric of nature unkind,
i started for another embark,
leaving all by hind,
Guided by the air, guided by the light,
touching new land, was a delight,
praising; it wasn't god's crime,
now, i want it dark all the time,
Disappearing at a notice, pry
sometimes, you like, or you cry,
you can't find me in the crop,
don't grow used to me,
after all, I am a Rain Drop !
I wanted to write on this topic and then i came across this and it was so perfect that didnt needed to be touched upon ... like few things :-)
"Don't you just take the past and put it in a room in a basement and lock the door and never go in there? That's what I do, And then you meet someone special and all you want to do is to toss them the key and say; open up, step inside, but you can't, because it's dark, There's demons and if anybody saw how ugly it is. I keep wanted to do that, fling the door open just let light in and clean everything out."
--
Mr Tom Ripley
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Neck and head grew a margin of art,
gasping for more, i was left broken heart
Hands on the waist gave birth to a ward,
stupidity lead me hanging at courtyard
When you think you got it all,
a pebble on the street can make you fall
After being blinded by light,
we just left cutting through the dark
I was confused, looked around in blue,
found myself standing there in queue
With, a new life, but old memories,
not knowing, what to do
May be its end, means were other
uninhibited, and the day was over !
Earth was rotating, clock ticked perfectly right
Day seemed so long, though world was a usual sight
A girl came to my shop, wanted to buy a life
for that she was even willing to bribe
but she got it all, didn't knew that knack
It's just she wanted it in a different pack
I looked hard, for her, but couldn't find
she frowned and laughed at this, appeared to be kind
efforts went in vain, as she held me bane
when she went, part of me died but relived again
i must thank her for, that i learnt to feel sorrow and pain
neither want to damage, nor to delve
now, gloom is gone sky is silver
hey troubadour, trust, the long day is over ...
PS : The Long Day is Over - Norah Jones
Sometimes even time like 5 mins brings such a critical change, i don't know whether its 13 or 12 days, or this 5 min in future will make it from 1 to 0 day, but how does it matter anyways as this number is not of any statistical significance, except being a date somewhere-someplace on a card, calender or reminder on cell phone. Music (Midival Punditz : Lage na mora jiya, tohri aakhiyon se naina lage re), is making me smile and sad at unusual frequencies, its becoming my favourite past time watching pics that i have collected like stamps, as i clicked the folder property to check out exact numbers (128 MB, 244 pics) i discovered windows is so realistic rude as it shows folder attribute as Read-Only, "come on not for pics atleast, i deserve better then this", instantly music moved next in playlist, i wonder does life also have such playlist where it moves next when previous activity is done, so many things are crossing my mind - i can't pen them all - i think i am becoming worst victim of my own thoery "The Guided Life", anyways song that is on play mode - Naina from Omkara, i don't wanna listen to this song anymore as it brings a picture where she is crying in second last seat of her return flight, again i wonder in playlist of life can we skip something if we are not liking it for any particular reason, ok forget it, its not realistic ! I dont wanna rub eyes but this mist is no useful, someone is playing craker rockets at a distance its looking beautiful from my window, but they have to stop doing it what if yesterday was New Years Day, it might rain in sometime, i am waiting as it's such a soothe ......
I didn't wanted to say, but i couldn't
I didn't wanted it this way, but i couldn't
Once was a child, who came everyday and passes by
Wanted it like this for life, walking away glanced at me with one eye
I felt so high, and i decided to die.
There was a car, i knew about from engine to alloy
Someone else bought it, i was relaxed was a white lie
I felt so high, and i decided to die.
Decorations were bright, it came once for the people nearby
Still scared was the bride, as ques waited for an ans by
I felt so high, and i decided to die.
I took sleeping pills, expecting to woke with her sleeping nearby
Gazing at the illusion, laughed as i still wanted it be my
I felt so high, and i decided to die.
Even satisfying that want became a fight,
I got the heaven but no god was in sight.......
It started with big deep eyes, i felt current in my head
Still it got pleasant with time, though it wasn't pink but red.
Voices got visibly spread, sun by day and moon by night
It created a sharp whirlpool, and i decided to dive
Distances were traveled, places people were in sight
Moments disappeared, left me with sweat but a touch to revive.
Heart grew horn, as exploration went beyond platonic want
Child name guilt was born, as worst fear came back to haunt.
All the days got over, remains were assurance and goodbye
It started raining from the sky, which finally ended with my eye.
After passing screen test, i found myself an empty corner, from where a complete view was available. Ladies with elegance, men with procured polish waited for their turn in queue, my ipod make a clunk to next one on list and following words stuck my ear drum........
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspision love actually is all around."
Walking across a market lane looking at every white wear that came in way, mixing milk before powder in Tea, choosing white ice cream - even straberry paste seemed an adulterant suggested clearly that she has a love for white.
When we headed for mountains, decision was unanimous to build something that reflect purity in that sense. So all the efforts were directed toward one single objective, meeting and having good time during this course.
While making it, we all knew its seasonal and gonna melt , but anticipation of even limited joy was motivating. It came out beautifully, House of snow, drinks not only came with ice it came in ice, everything from chairs to glasses were of ice, all the people who were involved in making it are now experiencing pleasure out of it...it was magical as orange light was spread and all the emotions, moods and feelings are touched upon in this time frame leading to a sneaky warm feeling.
It was white house with blue door, everything seemed so settled.................. people started to enjoy.
Worst part about good things in life that it happen to you at the very end and then time just runs out on you.
Along came a sunny morning, inevitable happened, we all knew about it still there was a strange sinking feeling of being parted from the joy, it was draining at a rapid pace, wanting to get in i rushed towards door, fell it was all dark, when eyes opened i was stuck by an awe as i was trying to enter an illusion, i found myself in middle of cold water channel that was going back to basics, where it want to be........overlooking all the efforts we scarified.
Shivring with cold sweat, i realised, Sometimes people think they lose things when they didn't really lose them, it just get moved, we just cant find them but they still exist in some or other form................
I GUESS SO !!!!!!!! Yes ..... I saw her wearing black last day........isn't it
